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Pulled Pork: House Democrats Unroll Condoms From Stimulus Bill

House Democrats, responding to the uproar created by their new definition of the term 'stimulus', have decided to remove funding for various birth control devices from the stimulus package. "The...

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Democrats Launch Online We-Love-You-Rush Petition

In an effort to reach out to the conservative wing of the citizenry, the Democrat Party has created an online petition where anyone can post their love and encouragement to Rush -- all at the expense...

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House Dems Pull Out Condoms, Insert STDs

Those wacky sex-crazed Democrats are at it again, publicly removing from the so-called Stimulus Bill hundreds of millions for condoms and other birth control "devices", and privately inserting $335M...

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Iran Responds to Messiah: Get Out and We'll Talk

(Warning: This post contains no satire.)Iran's President-for-life Mahmoud Ahmadinejad responded publicly to the US Emperor's call for new diplomatic talks, surprising the world with dramatically...

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Rangel Rule: GOP Congressman Wants to Kill Late Tax Fees

Rep. John Carter (R-TX) has introduced a bill designed to eliminate the stigma associated with being a prominent Democrat who can't remember to pay his taxes.He calls it the Rangel Rule, after an...

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House Dems Pass Depression Stimulus Bill Without GOP

The House GOP, showing the kind of maverick behavior we wish John McCain had, unanimously thumbs-downed the $819B Government Stimulus bill, which passed with overwhelming Democrat support. I suppose...

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Abritrary Bitter Post

I know I've been gone for a while, and I truly do apologize for that. Thanks to IJ for manning the post while I was spending the past few months crying and mourning the progressive death of American...

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Video: Pelosi Touts "Prevention" as Economic Stimulus

House Speaker Nancy Pelosi (D-GayPornica) strongly defended her position, eloquently explaining how spending $335M taxpayer dollars to prevent teen pregnancies will create more jobs.The jokes write...

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Michael Steele picked to lead GOP

Former Maryland Lt. Governor Michael Steele was chosen to resurrect the Dead Old Party, having asphyxiated itself by tying a John McCain around its neck late last year. Efforts to revive the party by...

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Top 15 Hidden Pork in the Depression Stimulus Bill

We know you folks don't have the time to pore through every word of the mammoth government spending bill ironically known as the Stimulus Bill. Neither do we, but we managed to extract a list of the...

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Big Hollywood Mor(m)ons: Samuel L. Jackson and Tom Hanks

Tom Hanks recently demonstrated his quick-witted acting abilities by calling Prop 8-supporting Mormons un-American, then immediately backpedaled upon discovering that he wasn't in France, and that the...

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Tom Daschle: More "Change" in the Cabinet

President Government's recommendation for Secretary of Health and Human Taxes, Tom Daschle (D-S. Taxakota), is just another in a growing bilge pile of tax cheats being nominated for a Cabinet position....

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Help Wanted: Tax Cheat

President Running Joke has yet another stellar appointment, the "Performance Czar", failing to pay taxes to the federal government, only this time Nancy Killefer has the dignity (or is it fear) to...

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Hyperbole 101 by Professor Nancy Pelosi

Madame Speaker Nancy Pelosi (D-GayPornia) explaining why the Depression Stimulus bill must be passed immediately: every single person living in the United States - man, woman, and child - plus an...

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Former Sen. Daschle Withdraws Nomination

Fearing that wiretaps of conversations featuring former Illinois Gov. "Hot Rod" Blogojevich offering the Health and Human Taxes job to Daschle for $350,000 ("...at that price, it's a steal!") would be...

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Obama: Stimulus or Die

That's the extreme view being presented by President Leadership-by-OpEd regarding the sad state of our 7.5% unemployment economy, the worst in 25 years. According to the multiple tax cheat nominator,...

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Top 10 Bad Things That Will Happen if the Stimulus Bill is Not Passed

As previously reported here at satire center (or 'satire far right'), President Left-of-Sane has demanded that Congress immediately pass a spending bill equivalent to the cost of all US-attended wars...

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Obama: We Must, um, uhh, um, Pass, umm, the-uhh, Stimulus Bill

President...

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President Obamuhh: Four More Years of Bush

"I'm not going to promote the same old failed policies of the Bush Administration. My Stimulus Bill will be much bigger.""I inherited a national debt that doubled over the last eight years. But I'm...

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Stimulus Bill Already Working!

If you needed any more proof that St. Barry is the One True Messiah, just look at this fact: the Stimulus Bill, agreed upon mere hours ago by Congress and the White House, has already had a positive...

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